All closed up

The coffee shop is closed, the last cup and saucer has been removed and my front room now holds a commercial espresso machine. The landlords are demanding that I return light bulbs and bricks that was "against the law" to take but I can't find any evidence of that.

On separate notes: I still don't have my $100 back; the work done at the coffee shop never had a permit to do; Jhon is an ass and I can find people who will attest to that; all this negative stuff is just that.

New espresso cafe

There's going to be a new shop in my old location. I wonder what the neighborhood will do about that? Part of me hopes they just accept the new place and that it does well. Part of me hopes that the neighbors "support" me and don't buy their coffee there. Part of me wants to sabotage their operation. Part of me wants to do everything possible to ensure their success. Part of me wants to scream and shout. Part of me wants to go away.

I have known that there are some things that I know that I can't explain how I know, I just know. I have just known that something was up and I couldn't put my finger on what it was or how I knew it. And yes, something is going on and something is up. How did I know that?

The door has closed

Well, the coffee shop run has ended. I closed the doors today for the last time. It's been a lot of fun, a huge amount of hard work, a fair amount of frustration, a tremendous amount of personal learning on my part, the making of a whole lot of new friends, more burned/scalded fingers than I can count, lots and lots of muffins baked, cookies cooked and coffee spilled. I kinda wish I'd journaled more, written more, blogged more. It seems like I've spent a lifetime in the last 8 months and a lot of things have happened in this past year, including some huge changes. But overall, I'm peaceful and content right now. In fact, it's scaring me just a little at just how peaceful I am about this change. I poured everything I owned into this venture and I'm left with humongous bills, more than I can picture ever being able to get out of in my lifetime, and a whole crap-load of espresso supplies! But I know I tried, I did something that I wanted to do and I succeeded in building a successful business and I'm at peace with that.

In fact, I'm exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally and I think I'm going to go to bed really early tonight and sleep in really late tomorrow and just see what the next day or two brings. In fact, I won't sleep in late since my dogs and cats get me up early every day, but it sure sounded good, didn't it?

Since the last post, the area just north of us has flooded bad and I've been up there doing some emergency inspections. I came back this week and found myself with an eviction notice because my rent was late, so I gave notice along with just about every penny I had and closed the business today. In fact, I have exactly $17 in the business account right now. I'm sure that some day, I'll be able to look back on this experience and be able to make some sense out of it but right now, I'm just tired. Just tired. Every cell in my body, every spirit in my soul, every hair on my head is tired. Christmas is just 2 days away and somehow it feels like it's going to just pass right on by me.

I don't know what to do about the creditors, the mortgage holder, the people who want money out of me. I'm tired. I have nothing left to give.

End of an Era

Bohemian Espresso is for sale. I guess it's always been for sale if the someone just asked, but this time it's for real. Posted on craigslist and everything.

I am ready for someone to take over and grow the coffee shop to the next level. There is such a potential for more business that hasn't even been tapped into yet - nearby businesses, schools, shopping centers. Office staff meetings, stitch 'n bitch get-togethers, artist receptions, live music, poetry readings. The list goes on and on and gets bigger by the day.

I've poured my heart and soul into Bohemian and I'm ready for another soul to move in.

Burgled!

I arrived at the cafe this morning to find that the place had been broken into and all the money stolen - two months worth of tips, a zippered bag full of rolled coins, most of the change in the cash drawer and the buck-fifty in the tip jar. All told, about two hundred and fifty dollars.

I feel personally violated. I had put so much of myself into the place - furniture, wi-fi, stereo system, etc. etc. etc. Perhaps that's why I feel like it was such a personal attack. It looks like the person/people who did this knew exactly where to look and what to take. It was pretty methodical.

The lessons are that I won't keep tips as long as I did, won't take so much for granted, won't let myself think the world is so perfect and safe.

I will keep walking the line between safe and paranoid. I want to trust people. I know they are good. I know the world is a good place. I know the universe is safe.

Memorial Day

Tomorrow is Memorial Day. The cafe will be open. I know that neighbors will be at home and maybe they'll stop by.

At least, I'll get a cup of coffee.

Five weeks gone and gone - 6th has started

Well, got the first six weeks over and done with and no major disasters - no one died, no one was injured, no had to go to the hospital, no earthquakes, no bumping up against people that was not repairable, no grouchiness that didn't end in a kindly smile. There was orange juice flung from one end to the other. There was exploding whipped cream. There was the erupting milk pitcher. At least, the incidents are colorful and/or noisy!

It's been a long five weeks for me, little miss merry sunshine smily butterfly girl.

What hasn't killed me has made me stronger - running out milk on the first day, running out of change on the second, trying to "clean out" the grease-trap, slinging orange juice all over everywhere while thinking it had a lid on it, blowing up the whipped cream, getting only a runny yucky looking slimy stream of white cream out of the creamer, table tops used for coloring boards, I could go on, and on, and on.....on.....on.....

It's definitely an adventure. I am learning to take care of myself by saying no, I'm not able to participate in whatever, go wherever, eat whatever. Really hard for me. I'd rather go go go do do do but it just doesn't work that way sometimes. I'm ready for a skydive or a trip somewhere or a date or something different.

Tally ho - rally on.....