New espresso cafe

There's going to be a new shop in my old location. I wonder what the neighborhood will do about that? Part of me hopes they just accept the new place and that it does well. Part of me hopes that the neighbors "support" me and don't buy their coffee there. Part of me wants to sabotage their operation. Part of me wants to do everything possible to ensure their success. Part of me wants to scream and shout. Part of me wants to go away.

I have known that there are some things that I know that I can't explain how I know, I just know. I have just known that something was up and I couldn't put my finger on what it was or how I knew it. And yes, something is going on and something is up. How did I know that?

The door has closed

Well, the coffee shop run has ended. I closed the doors today for the last time. It's been a lot of fun, a huge amount of hard work, a fair amount of frustration, a tremendous amount of personal learning on my part, the making of a whole lot of new friends, more burned/scalded fingers than I can count, lots and lots of muffins baked, cookies cooked and coffee spilled. I kinda wish I'd journaled more, written more, blogged more. It seems like I've spent a lifetime in the last 8 months and a lot of things have happened in this past year, including some huge changes. But overall, I'm peaceful and content right now. In fact, it's scaring me just a little at just how peaceful I am about this change. I poured everything I owned into this venture and I'm left with humongous bills, more than I can picture ever being able to get out of in my lifetime, and a whole crap-load of espresso supplies! But I know I tried, I did something that I wanted to do and I succeeded in building a successful business and I'm at peace with that.

In fact, I'm exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally and I think I'm going to go to bed really early tonight and sleep in really late tomorrow and just see what the next day or two brings. In fact, I won't sleep in late since my dogs and cats get me up early every day, but it sure sounded good, didn't it?

Since the last post, the area just north of us has flooded bad and I've been up there doing some emergency inspections. I came back this week and found myself with an eviction notice because my rent was late, so I gave notice along with just about every penny I had and closed the business today. In fact, I have exactly $17 in the business account right now. I'm sure that some day, I'll be able to look back on this experience and be able to make some sense out of it but right now, I'm just tired. Just tired. Every cell in my body, every spirit in my soul, every hair on my head is tired. Christmas is just 2 days away and somehow it feels like it's going to just pass right on by me.

I don't know what to do about the creditors, the mortgage holder, the people who want money out of me. I'm tired. I have nothing left to give.